


Newsies Book of Crack

by LeafyPanda1



Category: Newsies (1992), Newsies - All Media Types, Newsies!: the Musical - Fierstein/Menken
Genre: Albert DaSilva is a Good Friend, All the Newsies are Jack's children, Also Spromeo, And Javey, And Ralbert, Anxious David Jacobs, Art Student Jack Kelly, Bisexual Disaster Jack Kelly, Crack, David Jacobs Needs A Hug, Every Newsie is gay, Female Smalls, Foster Parent Medda Larkson | Medda Larkin, Gay David Jacobs, Gay Newsies, Gay Racetrack Higgins, Good Parent Medda Larkson | Medda Larkin, How Do I Tag, I AM OBSESSED WITH FEMALE SMALLS AND I WILL FIGHT YOU, I like many ships, Italian Racetrack Higgins, Jack Kelly Being an Idiot, Mom Friend David Jacobs, Nonbinary Specs (Newsies), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Parent Medda Larkson | Medda Larkin, Probably Sprace, Protective Jack Kelly, Racetrack Higgins Has ADHD, Racetrack Higgins Needs a Hug, Racetrack's First Name is Antonio, Ship are minor, So Will the Relationships, Spot Conlon is Bad at Feelings, Tags May Change, Trans Racetrack Higgins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 19:54:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29441472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeafyPanda1/pseuds/LeafyPanda1
Summary: This is a book.Of Newsies crack.Incorrect quotes and shit.There is cursing and explicit humor. SO YEAH-Have fun reading xd.
Relationships: Albert DaSilva/Racetrack Higgins, David Jacobs/Jack Kelly, Romeo/Specs (Newsies), Spot Conlon/Racetrack Higgins
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. Newsies as thing my friends have said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friends and I are so immature-

Spot: I'm suing Jesus, the sun is too bright.

Race: DO WE GET THE CHICKEN!?

Davey: What the actual fuckity fuck trucking duck stuck-in-the-muck flipping s p r u c k are you doing on top oF THE FREEZER!?

Mush: I may not be smart...  
Kid Blink: buuuuut...?  
Mush: No. That's it.

Romeo: I HAVE A 69 IN MY SOCIAL STUDIES CLASS AND IT MAY BE A FAILING GRADE BUT IT'S COMPLETELY WORTH IT! BOW BEFORE YOUR NEW GOD PEASANTS! 

Spot: If you don't get the fuck out of my chair I'm going to shove my drawing stylist up yo ASS-

Jack: I'll just sit here, waiting, holding a dildo in one hand and a bible in the other

Les: When I grow up, I'm going to get a college major in mailbox

Elmer: I AM STANDING HERE BEFORE JESUS, T-POSING AND I AM FULLY AWAITING BOTH YOUR PRAISE AND YOUR CRITICISM FUCKERS-

Albert: I just got back from committing arson but don't worry, no property got destroyed.

Race: If you blended beans would they still taste like beans?

Specs: I've tried my diddily-darndest to control you guys, but I have just gotten to the point where if you talk again, I may just throw you into Mount Everest.

Spot: If I ever get sent to the hospital, make sure that they tube-feed me angst.

Crutchie: Oh sorry I didn't hear you, I had the Duck Song playing in my brain on repeat.

Spot: I may be small but I will kILL YOU FOR THE LAST DONUT-

Davey: Don't send my unborn child into war

Mush: B A S K I N M Y G L O R I O U S P R E S E N C E Y O U A B S O L U T E P E A S A N T S

Albert: I call this, the angsty song of children screaming at the top of their lungs. *inhales* AAA-

Crutchie: If you touch me, you may catch the ugly disease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I wrote this, but I hope it makes you laugh.


	2. Spot, no.

Spot: Hey Race, there's a new test to see if you're gay, wanna try it?  
Race: Yesss...?  
Spot: *slams pins him onto wall*


	3. *cough* same.

Davey: Write your name on your papers!  
Spot: *writes "perfection" *  
Davey: I said write your name  
Spot: That is my name.  
Davey: Says who?  
Spot: Says me b i t c h -


End file.
